I love the blog Blissfully Domestic, not only because they have the uncanny ability to address 99% of the things I’m interested in, but they also **GASP!!!** talk about God.
Today they posted about discontentment, and how pride is the seed of it because you think you deserve better. Who hasn’t said “If only I had more money/a bigger house/a nicer spouse/a better job” at one point or another in their lives. And who doesn’t compare what they have to someone else. I was just doing that today…so and so’s wedding was what mine should have been. I said this to my office roomie not 30 minutes ago. It’s human. But when it starts to eat you up, that’s when it becomes a problem.
This is so true: “Pride plants the seed, selfishness waters it, envy shines on it – and next thing you know you’ve got a whole forest of unhappy thoughts breeding in your heart.” Take my wedding example…I thought I was better than the wedding I ended up with. It was so not what I’d envisioned. And now 4 years later, I’m still stewing over it. And when I was telling office roomie about it, you should have seen my hands waving, the look of anger on my face, and my blood started to boil again. Not an example I want to set for my girls. And not something I want office roomie to focus on (next year she’s having a similar wedding to what I had and probably has similar feelings). My pride clouded what God wanted me to learn from the experience. Perhaps he wanted me to grow into a more gracious, grateful, and respectful person? And when I let pride take over, I’m focusing on myself, not Him. I’m sure that things that I’ve said about my wedding did not glorify Him, at all. That makes me sad.
Since getting married, Lo Gung and I are faced with new challenges…the wedding was nothing! We do get bogged down with the If Only’s, like in all marriages, but perhaps the prayer posted in the blog will battle those destructive thoughts:
“God, I don’t know why you have me in this place, but I am going to trust that you have a reason, and that I will be more like Christ and closer to you for having gone through this. God, help me deal with the hard days when I don’t feel like I will make it. Help me to remember that I am not alone, and that you are here beside me. Change my heart God. Do not allow discontent to breed in it. Cultivate a contentment that truly depends on you and you alone, and that is not conditional upon my circumstances. Fill my heart with joy that comes from knowing you. I praise you, for you are good, ALWAYS. Amen.”
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23